To: Eric Lian <ericlianXX@gmaiX.com>
Date: Jul 16, 2006 11:27 AM
Hey Eric,
All getting a bit mental in Israel right now. My brother and I are in Tel Aviv waiting for our flights out -apache helicopters go past our hostel every 30 minutes - would have been a good photo opp for you!
How's Italy?
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The nice thing about email is that friends can find you no matter where you are. The bad thing about email is that friends can find you no matter where you are...
Still weak from my exchange with Rami, I received an email from Nick, my travel buddy (and ancient film camera photographer) from the UK. We shared a room together for a few days in Beirut and spent a day together in the Bekaa Valley - the heart of Hezbollah country.To the uninitiated, Nick's email seems friendly and quite innocent. And, yes, the world is flat. Knowing that the Israelis recently "installed" several sizable craters in the runways at Beirut airport, the email is a serial killer dressed as Mother Theresa sent through the internet to my Italian apartment to do away with me.
In case what I'm talking about is completely lost on you, I'll interpret each methodically crafted sentence. It's really quite vicious, even in terms of dry, understated British humor:
Hey Eric,
[You poor, sorry SOB. I know you're watching CNN and kicking yourself]
[I'm sure Italy is all safe and pretty right now and that you (and your completely useless camera gear) are probably sitting in an Italian cafe sipping an overpriced espresso - with your pinky finger extended in that high-fashion sort of way - content to watch the tourists walk by]
My brother and I are in Tel Aviv waiting for our flights out
[A pathetic trick to distract me from what is about to come, and he's being evasive in not telling when and where he's flying out to because he doesn't want to kill me just yet. He probably found a fearless taxi driver to take him back to Beirut right now]
-apache helicopters go past our hostel every 30 minutes-
[A low blow and I didn't even see it coming. The room goes black and I crumple to the cold cement floor]
would have been a good photo opp for you!
[It's not enough that I'm already down. He kicks me hard for good measure. I'm just waiting for the death blow now. I hope it's quick...]
How's Italy?





















